rocky road sundae without marshmallow sauce

Darwin-I ate a piece of your cake at your birthday party. 200 is old, man. Hope you aren't mad that I flew past all the little booths about evolution and science. A stranger just came into the room with some hershey candy kiss chocolates. I think her name was Tameka. She has a nice soul. The reality of Valentine's day is finally setting in. I cannot control what happened. Maybe that's why I retrace my steps over and over, wondering why things are the way they are. I like knowing an order on things. And I do not fancy failure. I guess there is just a deep buried hope that the person who has kept my mind in shambles lately will show up again someday. It's doubtful that soon will be the time, I know he's given up. But I hope the time will really come again. Like I can't imagine owning the status of an avoided and hated "ex" in his mind. The kind that is talked about in a sad negative light like Emily. It's not fair. Love (or whatever else it is perhaps disguised as young misconstrued passion) isn't fair. I am so proud of having the tolerance to resist talking out of uncontrollable longing. It's been rough, but a lesson at that. I have come so accustomed to being there, it's very hard not to. I wonder wonder wonder what he's thinking. And really just wish I knew how he felt and what he thought at this point-after 3 weeks apart ( one more will be a full month =/ ). I have so many unanswered questions. And so many requests. It would be far too much to expect voldemort's presence at my halftime routine this 14th of february, a true sign to show that all the words expressed in the past have actual substantial care behind them. But I would melt so well. I miss the yellow roses of a year ago, outside of DC. I wish they could be here now. Why did they wilt? My only reasonable expectation of now, I feel, would be of answers and truth. Then I could at least decide whether to stay semi-distant or split like a pea foreverrr. AYYYYYYE, cupid help me please.